Crazy Taxi Gazillionaire (iOS)

The tap-tap-tap rhythm of Crazy Taxi Gazillionaire turns its players into the equivalent of a cat playing with a tablet’s virtual aquarium. YouTube provides endless hours of examples. Human paws aren’t as adorable though.

As opposed to phony aquariums, Crazy Taxi’s spin-off dishes out phony money. It’s a cycle of tapping and watching dollar bills skirt across the screen, utterly exuberant and enthusiastic in its presentation. Behind the taps, a simulation (of sorts) in which taxis smash citizen and police cars off the road in order to reach a client’s destination. It’s quite spunky and with its pun-based dialog, remarkably alluring.

Blaring The Offspring’s punk anthems of the late ’90s (forever associated with Crazy Taxi’s brand), Gazillionaire is a game of the millennial generation. Its lightweight story is that of dissent over gig economies – successfully tapping overrides a satire of Uber – and lyrics note, “You’re going to change the world.” That’s right. Last week, millennials started murdering Applebees. It’s already happening.

Importantly, Gazillionaire doesn’t have a route to failure. You don’t even need to play. The tiny taxis dangerously speed around the model train-like cities while you sleep, catching fares out of sight. If millennial failure is attributed to everyone-gets-a-trophy culture, shame on Gazillionaire for supporting that thesis. That, or maybe the lack of jobs and student debt pushed the generation toward digital fantasies where dollars literally rain from the skyline and people pay billions for a taxi ride. Millennials lost enough in reality. Let ’em have this one.


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