Guns. You like guns? Far Cry 5 likes guns. It has all kinds of guns. Machine guns, pistol guns, assault guns. Guns on rooftops. Mounted guns. Guns for walking all stealthy and guns for making noise or blowing stuff up. Guns dressed with American flags like some people dress their poodles, others wearing skulls, the latter like an FDA warning on a pack of cigarettes but with the coolness of a gun. Hell, there’s an 18-wheeler with flames running along the sides with guns sticking out from the hood. There’s a bald eagle ornament hanging from the rear view too. Sadly, it doesn’t have a gun.

All these guns? They shoot other people with guns. It’s open world, so people keep bringing in more guns randomly. Bullets from those guns splatter brains and slice through kneecaps all real like. It’s important to show the realities of guns, but make it fun too, you know? That’s why Far Cry 5 has airplane guns now so you can strafe people with guns. Cool.

Where do guns come from? A cult. They bought the guns. Second amendment and all, you know? They talk about god and stuff, but mostly it’s about guns. Everything is in Far Cry 5, more so than other Far Cry games. In this one, you’re a rookie US Marshall with a gun, but you don’t speak. It’s more about being an emtpy vessel to hold a gun, or many guns if you prefer. Whatever makes it easier to shoot as many guns at as many people. Oh, and bears. They don’t have guns, but you can shoot them anyway. Guns man.

Bored of guns? Too bad. Keep using guns to shoot the evil cult people and you unlock more guns. Even rocket launcher guns! The cult does bad stuff with drugs, because nothing is worse than drugs. It’s like that one game NARC, where guns splattered street thugs who used drugs in Reagan-era anti-drug, pro-police gun fantasy. Guns solve America’s drug problem and religion is only perverted because of illegal drugs, not guns. Nothing wrong with that, as long as a good guy with guns win. Guns can’t lose. America, right?

2/5